If you’re a regular you’ll know that I’ve been blogging for a year now. I’m impressed with my commitment. I started blogging with a 3 month free trial and figured that if I lasted the three months then I’d make the commitment to a year’s subscription with Typepad. I get bored easily and this has managed to hold my attention, but maybe because I get to show off regularly! That’s what blogging gives us, an audience to say, "hey look at this" to likeminded people. Our friends and family are interested but not obsessed as we are, hence the blog. (Non-blogging friends no offence, some of you, unnamed, are as obsessed as me!)
So what’s the year been like in blogland? Overall it’s been great. But you’d expect to hear that wouldn’t you. It has been complex. It’s bought up a lot of issues within myself. I’ve made great friends, learnt a bunch of stuff, gotten frustrated with myself, become jealous, envious even. Why? Lots of reasons. I think (this is a gross generalisation), women can be very competitive (or maybe it’s just me). Given that my blog is about craft and most craft bloggers out there reading each others blogs are women I think there’s often this feeling of frenzied should-be activity or the "I should" feeling. The feeling of the need to keep up, to be popular, to be the first to create something, the anxiety of making something someone else has made before, the frustration of the "instant" popularity of very new bloggers. You get the drift. The frustration of knowing that there are people out there reading but not commenting, the inner dialogue "why aren’t they commenting", maybe I need to be leaving more comments out there. Don’t get me wrong, this post isn’t a cry for affirmation from others (though please, don’t hold back if you feel the urge to comment :p ), it’s a sharing of my often conflicted inner dialogue…"Are my pictures good enough", "I can’t write for crap", "Am I jumping on the bandwagon to gain blogularity?", you know that sort of stuff, which often when written down like this looks and sounds pathetic and is unpopular in itself and slightly embarrassing to admit.
Then when it all becomes too much I need to remind myself, why did I start a blog? I started it because I love crafting, I’m new to crafting (the past 3 years or so of my adult life) I wanted a mirror, a reflection from other likeminded beings, I wanted to be part of something that looked so wonderful and interesting and yes I get a buzz when I’m asked about the blog by non-bloggers or when someone leaves a comment. Do I still get pleasure from the blog, yes most days and there is an amazing community of people out there, generous people. Proof of that is that I just flew over 4000km to stay with a woman and her family whom I’ve never met, and I made another new bloggie friend in Perth (known as the most geographically isolated city in the world though it doesn’t feel like it in blogland).
Now there’s the moment of…hmm publish this? Will it be unpopular? But then stuff it. Maybe that’s my frustration the pressure I put on myself to be popular and post popular material. Thank goodness this hasn’t settled in over here at Craftapalooza.
Finally a thank you. Thank you to the lurkers and readers, the commenters and the friends who show an interest, I wouldn’t change anything about this past blogging year, it’s given me so much.